Morris & Vyse present their favourite Daylords lines:


"We'll be speaking to Daniel Bedingfield, about his new single - 'I'm a Dick'"


"You know who you remind me of Greer? Myra Hindley"


"I'll be asking the woman who's entire family died in a house fire  - will high waisted jeans make a come back this season?"


"My whole family had died. But was I happy? ...... Yes, yes I was"


"That's a retarded question, I am Su, and I will answer that question now"


"Suzanne had a very difficult start to life. She was born in Coventry"


"We'll be commemorating the life of the late musical legend, Michael Jackson, by testing out the latest skin bleaching creams on Lemar"


"Will a half hearted suicide attempt, help bring back your man?"
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Morris & Vyse are suffering from flyering flu. Symptoms include an achey face from forced smiling, paper cuts from the edge of flyers, achey feet from standing around all day and a sore throat from repetitive phrases repeated to strangers on a high street.


A full house almost every night now with some very generous donations, including a scottish man in a kilt who laughed at everything and gave us 20 quid (which we got pizza with). People have also started coming back with their friends to see it again!


Morris & Vyse have received no reviews yet so have decided to write their own. Morris gives it 1 star and says that 'it is the most pointless show on the fringe and is as funny as a spoon'. Vyse says that 'Morris could do better and lets everyone down with her crap accent and weird small head.'  
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8 shows done, 11 more to go!

Morris & Vyse have almost lost their voices (is the plural voici?) due to excessive conversational flyering and the noisiest show in the world happening next door to Daylords every night.

Flyering = soul destroying. Trying to persuade members of the general public to spend an hour in a damp brick tube watching Daylords, is exhausting. More exhausting than the show. Morris & Vyse have made many friends through flyering and through the popular flyering/flirting technique, a few stalkers.

Tonight, Britain's Got Talent finalists, FLAWLESS will be making a cameo appearance in the audience, which Morris is particularly excited about. 

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Episode 93,004. Morris & Vyse are losing their voices and their minds. 


Today, Morris & Vyse are a bit sick of:
  • rain
  • Glee tribute acts 
  • People who flyer with any kind of mask on
  • People who flyer with 'horror' make up on
  • People who flirt while flyering but only while flyering (flyer teasers)
  • People who turn Daylords fliers into aeroplanes 



Meanwhile....
  • 6 shows shows done and all of them full!
  • Morris appeared as a nude model in Alexis Dubus show, only wearing a pair of boots....
  • A man on the royal mile told Morris that she was 'chubby in the picture' when she gave him a flyer

Find out more in episode 93,005 of Morris & Vyse. Will they find Vyse's baby? Will Morris remain clothed for the duration of the festival? Will Daylords ever be reviewed?



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Best show yet for Daylords last night. Vyse managed to spill more wine on the stage (and on a cable) and all over herself again. Morris has almost lost her voice but was delighted to be asked for ID the other night.


Yesterday it rained nearly all day and flyering came to a stop. Morris & Vyse do not like the following 'flyer types':
people who wear wacky hats and think that will mean you'll take a flyer
people who paint their face white and have any kind of fake blood, and think that will mean you'll take a flyer
the hundreds of Glee style groups who keep doing impromptu performances on the Royal Mile. Will those who keep singing Backstreet Boys songs please tone it down.
the many groups of students who keep doing random contemporary dancing in skirts and masks.
anyone in hotpants or suspenders. sex does not sell. on second thoughts, maybe we should try this....
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Audience member of the week goes to: the man who randomly shouted a word from each gag throughout the show - highlights were the words alopaecia, poof, tampax, Rick and gaylords.


A full house for the first 2 nights of Daylords and a very generous amount of audience donations. Morris & Vyse have spent most of it on funding their crack habit and feeding Vyse's baby.


They have also attracted various stalkers and suggest they now all co-ordinate and do it in shifts.


Morris & Vyse oficiolly can'tt spel. Ther are 2 speling mistaks on the flyers. 


Morris' appalling Scottish accent seems to be going down quite well with the locals and she has so far NOT been punched in the eye. 
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Humorous fun today when Morris, Vyse and Michael Jackson attempted to hang the 'Daylords' banner from the ceiling of the venue. After 78,000 failed attempts at hanging the banner by weak string (which produced a comical 'lopsided' effect), Morris & Vyse decided that hanging it on 2 ladders was easier. And so Michael Jackson climbed down the ladder (after being up there for 2 hours) and wine was consumed.

Morris & Vyse then amused themselves by noting the spelling mistakes they made on the flyer and consuming more white wine. Nutritionally, they are lacking and are both still naturally anorexic.  Scurvy is on the cards.

Will Michael Jackson ever be able to put the banner up? Will Morris & Vyse eat a meal that covers one vitamin group? Will Morris be able to even out her new lopsided fringe? Find out in the next episode.
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vyse is in Edinburgh, on a treadmill next to Simon Callow (fact). meanwhile, morris is still in the office in london and finalising the script of daylords. will they be reunited and will Simon Callow get off the treadmill? will morris get a fake sword through security at Heathrow and will vyse have time to trim the wigs for The Blind Boys in time for Saturday? find out in episode 93,002 of Morris & Vyse.
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